"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
