Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
