SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
