Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize