Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
