I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
