i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
