oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize