I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this will be a night to untag.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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