They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
