You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
