After last night, I could never be a politician.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize