Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
