VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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