Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize