I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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