I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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