Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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