Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
