I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
