For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize