Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
