I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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