God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
