Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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