Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
