Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
