just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
