Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
