Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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