it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
