Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
