Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
