i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
