In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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