I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
