Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
