Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize