Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
