you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
