wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
