We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
