I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
