two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Text me some of your sweat
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
