If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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