Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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