I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
