Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
