But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
