the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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