If that was your dad, he is hot
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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