I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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