i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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