Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
