It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
