It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
