so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
then he tried to convert me to islam
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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