They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
