The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
