this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize