her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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