i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
