Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
