i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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