your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
