I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He better not be in your backpack
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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