I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
