oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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