porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
