I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
