Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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