Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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