It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
