We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
