I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
