i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
