it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize