Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
